Is there a way using the AWS CLI to download files using --recursive and --exclude + --include and no overwrite files I have already downloaded? It likes to just rewrite files even if they haven’t changed, and won’t resume downloads after a crash.

I think you are looking for the sync command. It assumes --recursive flag by default:

Syncs directories and S3 prefixes. Recursively copies new and updated
files from the source directory to the destination. Only creates
folders in the destination if they contain one or more files.